Can You Keep Your Faith in College?

Abbie's Blog

 Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The reason I hate hope is because it leaves me hoping.  
It answers
vaguely enough to hold my attention,
but varied enough to further my
lusts,
which if left deferred, grow my heart sick.  
Hope pursues me relentlessly
and invites me anew.  
It asks me to go deeper
and tells me deeper is where I’ll be
found.
I concede,
only because I hope such telling is true.
The reason I hope is because it leaves me hoping.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 5:46:55 AM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00) 
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 Saturday, November 01, 2008
I'm sitting at a coffee shop in downtown Manhattan Beach.  I had a tough therapy session that's sat heavy with me since yesterday, and I'm guessing will sit heavy with me for awhile.  Friends and dancing were a thoughtful distraction last night, but I still came home to "me" once the constume party was over.  And woke heavy to "me" upon rising.  So I decided to head west.  The ocean is always a soothing comfort, and I'm all about finding the soothe and comfort today.  My studies are spread across the table and the ocean waves about 1/4 mile away.  But "me" is still waving louder.

A gentleman in his late fifties, I'd say, asked if he could share my table.  His practically transluscent black skin spoke with a gentle voice that invited conversation.  But I wasn't about to accept.  I'm in a bad mood, and don't feel like talking.  So I told him he could certainly share the table, but that was it.  That's all I wanted to give.  He complied and quietly sat down across the table.  I thought our interaction was complete.

But about 15 minutes later, I raised my eyes from my oh-so-important Theo III assignment and saw that he was reading the Bible.  With a sunken stomach, I realized it wasn't by mistake he'd entered my presence, but it was by mistake that I'd so quickly dismissed him.  The man's peaceful demeanor is so appealing to me right now, and yet I don't even know what to say...  How is it that my inners know this man is a God-send to my weary soul, and yet my outers are scared to act on it? 

What would it look like to really believe I was part of a Body...to know this man was my brother...to know we would share aspects of this table from here to eternity?  What it would look like to engage with this part of me, sitting across the table? 

Saturday, November 01, 2008 10:37:42 AM (Pacific Daylight Time, UTC-07:00) 
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