Hey friends,

What a great weekend of COLD meetings, travel and some time at the Jubilee Conference in Pittsburg (shout-out to Tarun, Tyler, Alyson, Darby, Steve...and many other wonderful hearts I'm forgetting).

I met with my Multnomah Team in Colorado Springs and we're excited about some upcoming projects (to be shared more fully in days ahead :)).

Continued moving east, until I hit the snowy streets of Pittsburg. A few flight delays and glitches along the way, including leaving my cell phone in a cab at 2:30am (which my driver returned the next morning!?! sweet man), but phenomenal visit overall. I was able to join Derek Melleby's High-School to College transition crew for a full-day, as well as enjoy a morning with a range of college students from the northeast.

Couldn't resist a quick walk on the beach after landing last night...nice to be home in sunny so. cal :). Back into the swing of classes this morning, but more updates and project news to come!

It's always a joy to hear from you, so let me know what you're up to when you get some minutes between classes and life.

abbie

"Some saints cannot do menial work while maintaining a saintly attitude, because they feel such service is beneath their dignity."
Oswald Chambers: My Utmost for His Highest - 2/5/07

Was challenged by simple words this morning, that if I believed from Jesus' mouth, would radically change my today.

In Song of Solomon 2.14b (not even a full verse!, nor one shared in context, but still drenched in poignancy), God says:

"...show me your face, let me hear your voice;”

(In a mere nine words, God put me on the complete defense. I want to fight this phrase. WHY GOD? WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT MY FACE...SCARED, OVERWHELEMD, FRECKLED, BLEMISHED, HIDING, EXPOSING, ETC...OR MY VOICE...DOUBTING, ANNOYING, TOO MUCH, TOO LITTLE, TOO LOUD, TOO SOFT, TOO CONFUSED... I need your explanation God. I need to know why you’re drawing me in. I can’t understand you. I can’t understand your desires.)

“for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely."

I want to argue with God’s truth today. I want Him to reconsider His claims and rewrite His descriptors.
Or if I’m honest, I guess I want Him to help me believe what He says as true.
This is my prayer for us today.
We cannot change the truth. We cannot unsay what God has said. But we can deny it.
So, Holy Spirit, do in us what needs to be done that we’d stop fighting you off and figuring-out ways to avoid you. Rather, that we’d be children who hear your voice and are willing to believe you.

It's raining tonight in LA.
Which is hysterical.
No one knows what to do.
It's like the blizzard of the century has landed in our backyard.
Everyone looks anxious.
Everyone drives 2.5 miles per hour.
Stores are empty.
Streets are scared.
Literally, it's the second time I've seen percipitation since moving out here in July.
And I'm loving it.
Rain is good.
A glorioius gift.

Anyway, hoping your finals have finished-smoothly and you're starting to find REST in this holiday season. I was fascinated by Hebrews 4 this morning and how much God coorelates rest with faith and vice versa.

Know that I will be praying for you over the break. May the riches of Christ find your soul at peace. A Savior was born for you. Remember that. Same Savior died for you. Remember that, too.

Until next time,
abbie

P.S. It just stopped raining.

WOULD YOU RATHER:
Perfect yourself, or experience Christ;
Look at your fruit, or look at your Lord;
Fake a spiritual rapport, or humbly cry-out;
Speak a likeable word, or speak the Truth;
Be fixed, or be fixated on Jesus;
Be enjoyed, or enjoy God;
Go and make, or stay and be made?

God sees what you're carrying and knows what you're fighting to hold-up. But hear Him say today that His power is made made perfect in your weakness. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Lean into Him, love into His strengths, and let His shadow be your peace. Your darkest darkness is often closest to the dawn.

"And turning His gaze toward His disciples, Jesus began to say, "Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh. Blessed are you when men hate you, and ostracize you, and insult you, and scorn your name as evil, for the sake of the Son of Man."
Luke 6:20-22

Lord, we need Your strength to be weak. We need Your hope to be still.
Lead us there.
Lead us to Your narrow, but freeing path. To Your unnatural, but supernatural presence.
Lead us to You, Father. That is all we need.
Lead us to You. That is all we’d rather need.

"Who Am I?"
Deitrich Bonhoeffer
March 4th, 1946

Who am I? They often tell me

I stepped from my cell’s confinement

Calmly, cheerfully, firmly,

Like a squire from his country-house.

Who am I? They often tell me

I used to speak to my warders

Freely and friendly and clearly,

As though it were mine to command.

Who am I? They also tell me

I bore the days of misfortune

Equally, smilingly, proudly,

Like one accustomed to win.

 

Am I then really all that which other men tell of?

Or am I only what I myself know of myself?

Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,

Struggling for breath, as though hands were

compressing my throat,

Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,

Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,

Tossing in expectation of great events,

Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,

Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,

Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?

 

Who am I? This or the other?

Am I one person today and tomorrow another?

Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,

And before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?

Or is something within me still like a beaten army,

Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.

Whoever I am, Thou knowest, 0 God, I am Thine!

You Being You.

You are not your faith.
You are not your ministry.
You are not your music.
You are not your doubts.
You are not your resume.
You are not your schedule.
You are not your solution.
You are not your rank.
You are not your talents.
You are not your ability.
You are not your energy.
You are not your health.
You are not your strength.
You are not your paycheck.
You are not your position.
You are not your desires.
You are not your temptations.
You are not your sin.
You are not your exhaustion.
You are not your appearance.
You are not your leadership.
You are not your control.
You are not your own.

You are His.
You are unique.
You are loved.
You are liked.
You are trusted.
You are believed in.
You are desired.
You are desirable.
You are chosen.
You are included.
You are holy.
You are blameless.
You are understood.
You are valuable.
You are rich.
You are light.
You are salt.
You are washed.
You are sealed.
You are purchased.
You are you.
You are God's.

Be willing to be that.
Be willing to be.
Be willing.
Be.

“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven”—Jesus. Matthew 18:2-4

Children seem to walk out their freedom far more readily than most adults. I was reminded of this recently, while taking a swim at the local Y and paddled into by flapping arms and a flood of personality. She gave no invitation and offered no formal introduction, but did choose to take immediate interest in my day, as well as my pink shaded swimsuit. To me, however, Lauren’s introduction could’ve best been titled, “Christ in a flower-suited costume.” Her unassuming intention and innocent sincerity lit a blaze on my callous heart. But if I’m honest with you, this wasn’t my initial take on our meeting.

I had just finished a hard swim and was anxiously en route to my busy afternoon. Wading my way toward the pool stairs, however, I was rudely interrupted by this intrusion of sorts. Seemingly out of nowhere, a little five-year-old invited herself into my territory, as if an expected guest, or long lost relative. Her high pitched voice blurted an overly joyous greeting, while my internal time clock forced itself to an abrupt pause. Who did this little diva think she was, and what would it take for her to exit my path? As disheartening as this latter recount may seem, it didn’t take long for the former impression to take blaze. Lauren’s thoughtful words and swelling joy could’ve stopped a freight train, let alone my Scrooge-like selfishness. The shower stalls weren’t going to vanish, I realized, and it would probably be good for my OCD-self to be a few minutes late.

Lauren and I didn’t solve any of the world’s problems, and in fact, didn’t even touch on any of our own. We simply reflected on the shining sun, chatted about her hyper-color swimsuit and marveled at my converging freckles. Yet I can honestly say those minutes with Lauren were some of the most refreshing I’ve ever known. She cared little that our conversation stood in broad daylight, or that any onlooker could’ve overheard, much less joined in. She had no qualms about our colliding space and prioritized full attention on me, even to the extent of dismissing her floating toys. To Lauren, every passing moment offered a gem of opportunity. Every passing word sought an option to love. And this is just how I imagine Jesus to be.

Lauren’s willing availability, humble joy, and unashamed love are no doubt engraved on heaven’s invitation. Each, in fact, assumes a prerequisite in discovering our identity as God’s children—in discovering our dependence in the grip of a heavenly Father’s hand. And so I am dually challenged today, both by the childlike faith of Lauren, as well as the challenging call to embrace my familial placement.

Father, You are good and Your love endures forever. You are the Savior, the Redeemer, the Righteous One. You are the Shepherd, the Lord and Prince of Peace. And God, maybe most profoundly, or even most abundantly, You are the perfect Father. So we ask You today to let us be Your children. Teach us what it means to live as children again, loving unconditionally and living unashamedly. Lord, let us influence and invade territories for the sake of Your name. Let us interrupt protected settings for the sake of Your love. And God, let us become humble children, embraced and confident in the loving arms of our perfect Father. Amen.