Taylor Hicks has been named 2006’s American Idol after viewers of the talent show cast nearly 64 million votes in one night — more votes than any US president has received."

Enough Said.

Using God—a concept foreign to me, until last week. Well, foreign in the sense of never having recognized it. In short, it was the first time I realized how often my encounters with God assume an end, or result, if you will. Whether it’s an answer, direction, or even new composition, seldom do I find myself spending time with God just to spend time with Him. And don’t get me wrong, blatantly bad motives haven’t been exempt from our relationship, but at least they’re disguised as “need-based” rendezvous, or seasons of God in the Santa Claus costume. Never though, had I found myself in this ‘using God’ mentality, where His means simply assumed my desired end.

Last week was different though. My time with God somehow began necessitating (often unintentionally) an “end” different from what I’d started with. In other words, there was a presupposition that after spending time with Him, there would rest a stained advancement of our meeting—a tangible evidence of my gain. And in some ways, you’re probably saying, “That’s good, isn’t it…it means you’re constantly learning and growing in your relationship?” And to a certain extent, I agree. No man stands a chance of spending time with God and not experiencing change, but these changes are unpredictable graces and thus, should not and cannot be assumed! Miraculous changes accompany God’s presence, but woe is me to expect, let alone attempt, predicting such changes. For in doing so, I forfeit my ability to enjoy God—to be in His presence. Furthermore, there rises an exhausting intensity and intense suppression of the cultivated quiet God desires for my heart. Finally, I lose sight of the joys of being with God and finding absolution in that posture.

God, I want to enjoy You today. I want to experience and encounter You in a one-sided way—in a way that YOU serve as the sole means and end to our relationship. Father, I know You well enough to realize change and changing ends automatically spill from Your presence. But Father, I also know me well enough to realize my assumed role in that changing, or sought after end in Your changes. Guide me to a place of being with you today. Being still and knowing You without a pretense, or expected destination. And in doing so, remembering the joy therein and the purity from there out.

Driving home tonight, the world isn't right. My stomach hurts. His high beams are glaring at me. Her singleness tears deep. His buddy is dying of a brain tumor. It's dark and cold. I'm tired.

Optimism is telling me, "Snap out of it and look on the bright side."

But Truth is saying, "Stay where you are tonight and let Me hold you. This side isn't meant to be the bright one."

Upcoming Radio Interviews:

May 16th, 12:35pm, WCRF's "The Morning Program" (Cleveland and surrounding areas)
May 18th, 7:30am, Family Net Radio, "Live with Scott and Lori" (www.familynetradio.com/mornings)
May 23rd, 11:05am, KBJS's "Take 5" (Texas)
May 31st, 11:30am, KNEO (Neosho, MO), "Author's Corner" with Chad Jones

Listen-in if you're nearby!

Jesus told me to love my neighbor. Is that telling so hard? Is the walk too far, or the love too interfering?

Jesus also told me to core my life with compassion. Not comparison. Compassion. Not competence, or composure.

Each of my neighbors is gay. The house beside me, the couple behind me and the partners diagonal. Gay. All gay. Yet I had a most enchanting evening with two of them this weekend. It began with gardening banter, but tilled itself into genuine dialogue ranging from deep-seeded fears, to parties themed by Brokeback Mountain. What started on a driveway with two men I barely knew, ended with tears and laughter that barely knew me.

Why am so tempted to judge my neighbors? To avoid their driveway lest they change their ways? To hate.

Jesus told me to love my neighbors. Jesus also told me to core my life with compassion.

If I believed dark, furry creatures swayed the destiny of my luck, you mine as well call the morgue. Two black cats crossed my path today. Luckily though, pun completely intended, I don’t believe in superstition.

The concept of “belief” has lingered with me lately. We throw the word around freely, but its considerations are really quite daunting. If I really believed that path could hurt me, would I take it? Or if I really believed that processing could give me cancer, would I eat it? And I guess most importantly, if I really believed God came, cared, or planned as He says, would I do things differently?

A friend of mine got baptized last week. Not a sprinkle baptism, or one of those tank immersions like they do at my church, but a full-on, “down to the river” baptism. A crew of us gathered at a lake nearby Auburn University to celebrate the occasion. Cold and rainy from a weatherman’s perspective, but undeniably radiant for all in attendance. Just short of overwriting the Gospel of John, Mary Elizabeth’s washing was beautiful.

Her story included a tough upbringing, ranging from addiction, to severe depression and illness. In a Damascus-like sophomore year, however, the Lord intersected her troubled days and has literally transformed her life. Without being too dramatic, but also avoiding too much minimizing, experiencing ME’s baptism was a miracle. As her spiky, short hair collided with the rain-struck water, the calm beams of Jesus couldn’t help but pour down.

Soaking my ride home were reflections on belief. Processing remains immature, so I’ll leave it at this: The ability to believe—anything—is a really, really amazing measure of the will. And to Mary Elizabeth, I’ll leave this: “I’m thanking God for you, a sister loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of Jesus Christ.” (2 Thessalonians 2:13-14).

Have a great weekend. I’m laying low, attempting to avoid all meandering black cats.

Learning a lot about time these days. The time I don’t have, actually.

I don’t have time to go there. I don’t have time to stay here. And if I’m really honest, I don’t have time write this. Newsflash though, neither do you! And neither does he, she, or it. None of us has time. Whether it’s an inebriated palm pilot, overdue reading, or unscheduled meeting you’re already late for, we all struggle for minutes. Deadlines, dinners, dates—not to mention rest—our race with time is a finite capability chasing an infinite capacity.

So here’s my conclusion: time is confusing and a notion we’ll never understand.

But that’s a bad conclusion.

I think the actual conclusion is that “understand” and “accept” are two different things. Like it or not, we’re all gonna die and time determines many directions leading up to that point—meaning, we’re left with about two options: Time can be fought against, so that death becomes the enemy who fights against life, or it can be accepted, so that life becomes the freedom that overcomes death.

Our lives will never get easier and time is never going to be ‘enough.’ Understanding this, our timeless God chose to step out of omniscience into time. Perspectived by eternity, Jesus managed the element with miraculous discipline and fullness. Every planned meeting, meal and divine opportunity found his presence. Scripture never speaks of Jesus being overworked, overtired, or overly ill, so that he had to cancel, or postpone an engagement. He never writes about being stressed out, or overwhelmed by his plans. And though the saving of all humanity rested on his shoulders, not once do we hear him complaining about his “lack of time.” Rather, in a span of just three years, Jesus accomplished exactly what his ‘time’ set out to. No man was overlooked. No regrets were shared. Jesus knew what needed to be done. He knew what was necessary and moved passively active toward this end.

In the same way, we must figure out what needs to be done today. We must allow our timed end to find consistent backdrop against the timeless will of God. And in doing so, allow our finite days to intrude those of the divine.

(or notable quotes/quotable notes/notes that were quoted/quotes/quotes that were noted/notes/good thoughts)

I rarely read bridal magazines, but flipping through one at Publix, this stanza was irresistible:

“I want to hold off on sex for a month before our wedding to the make the night special. My fiancé thinks that’s silly. Anybody else trying this?”
(Modern Bride, dec/jan 2005, “Bride To Bride”)

Finished-up, Hearing God (Dallas Willard), this weekend—insightful and really practical. A must read for anyone interested, or scarred-off by, prayer. Here were a few of my highlights:

>We were important enough for God to give his Son’s life for us and to choose to inhabit us as a living temple. Obviously then we are important enough for him to guide us and speak to us whenever is appropriate (page 38).

>When God speaks to us, it does not prove that we are righteous or even right (page 39).

>Yet we have no indication that even Jesus was constantly awash with revelations as to what he should do (page 57).

>If you believe God has told you to do something, ask Him to confirm it to you three times: through his word, through circumstances, and through other people who may know nothing of the situation—Jean Darnall (page 84-85).

>Mere human thoughts, though effective within their appointed range, are as far below the power of God’s thoughts (and words) as the earth is below the heavens (Is 55:8-9) (page 127).

>Now the disciples obviously had great faith in Jesus (in reference to Matt 8 and Jesus rescuing them from the storm). They called upon him, counting on him to save them. They had great faith in him, but they did not have his great faith in God (page 156).

>Read with a submissive attitude (page 161).

>Stages of praying through the Scriptures: 1) information, 2) longing for it to be so, 3) affirmation that it must be so, 4) invocation to God to make it so, 5) appropriation by God’s grace that it is so (page 164).

>Faith is not opposed to knowledge; it is opposed to sight (page 194).

>Generally, it is much more important to cultivate the quiet, inward space of constant listening than to always be approaching God for specific direction (page 200).

>You can be in his perfect will without being a perfect human being (page 207).

>You are under authority, not in control (can’t find reference, but it stuck with me).

I remember it well—the finish line of my first marathon. Actually though, my remembrance today falls on this side of the red tape.

I went out for an easy, four-mile run yesterday and returned feeling like I’d done forty. How can that happen? How can my body maintain form over twenty-six miles, yet fail me for four?

Here’s the difference: I was prepared to go the distance that marathon morning. And I don’t just mean the physical distance, but I mean the emotional and psychological distances as well. I was focused on the first four miles, but was also focused on the last twenty-two. Nothing but my will was gonna separate me and that red-tape. No injury, person, or flirting incentive.

I knew my goal.
I was clear on my purpose.
And I was confident in my tranining.

With a semester’s red tape in view, this isn’t too different from the daily run of our lives. We’re tired, sick of studying (or saddened that we’ve not started) and just plain ready for summer. But here’s the deal—we’re in a race. Not a sweaty, grueling, competitive one, but a race toward eternity. A race toward the Goal set before us in the person of Jesus Christ. If I actually believed he was waiting at my finish line tonight, let alone the one finishing this moment, my life would look pretty different. My afternoon probably would too.

Like it or not, this world is coming to an end. Grades might be a guideline and graduation might be a goal, but when all’s said and done, my life as I know it isn’t all of life.

My life as a daughter is. A loved, accepted, chosen, forgiven, desired, desirable, beautiful, successful, believed in, cherished, empowered, daughter. Of the King. King Jesus.

I want to finish well in the bounds of this campus, but I want to finish more well in the bounds of my Father.

It’s His race. His timing. And His perpetual finish line. You up for a run?