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  <title>Abbie's Blog</title>
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  <updated>2008-05-08T14:17:11.9298085-07:00</updated>
  <author>
    <name>Abbie Smith</name>
  </author>
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  <entry>
    <title>Cigarettes and Cardio</title>
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    <published>2008-05-08T14:00:35.4640000-07:00</published>
    <updated>2008-05-08T14:17:11.9298085-07:00</updated>
    <content type="xhtml">
      <div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">(or When Sin Got Sexy or The Church’s View
on Smoking or It Would Suck to Have Asthma)<br /><br />
In an attempt to dissuade smoking, I remember adults and health books saying it looked
“uncool.”  I hardly agreed.  Although never taking-up the habit, “uncoolness”
was far from the compelling cause.  I have to say, the thought of one smoking
in a Parisian café, suavely engrossed in a good book, or stimulating conversation,
rates as one of the more “cool” looking scenes in my opinion.  In its proper
context, I think smoking is sexy.  <br /><br />
Too bad it gives you cancer.<br /><br />
(Random aside: I wikepedia’ed smoking and came to find that these little white sticks
have dented history since 3000BC!?  Among other interesting, disturbing facts,
“Between 1970 an 1995, per-capita cigarette consumption in poorer developing countries
increased by 67 percent, while it dropped by 10 percent in the richer developed world.
Eighty percent of smokers now live in less developed countries. By 2030, the World
Health Organization (WHO) forecasts that 10 million people a year will die of smoking-related
illness, making it the single biggest cause of death worldwide, with the largest increase
to be among women. WHO forecasts' the 21st century's death rate from smoking to be
ten times the 20th century's rate ("Washingtonian" magazine, December 2007)).<br /><br />
I was taking a walk the other day and passed a relatively fit looking woman on the
other side of the road.  She was probably fifty or so, and I think what led to
my initial double take was the fact that she required the pursuit of an inhaler two
times in our fifty-yard span of passing.  Man, it would suck to have asthma. 
But what an inspiration to see people like this, captured by disease, or disability,
but still committed to a life that fights the odds.<br /><br />
But then I realized it wasn’t an inhaler.  <br /><br />
The woman was smoking a cigarette.  <br /><br />
While walking.  <br /><br />
Inspirational moment had passed.<br /><br />
Maybe something about this was good though—at least she was still exercising, right? 
And certainly being “transparent” in her addiction.  But…really…together…cigarettes
and cardio?  Could they work?  Should they work?  Puffing the odd cigarette
in a Parisian café is one thing.  Sucking down cigs while exercising is another. 
And publicly!  But then I got back on my “things that suck” bandwagon and realized
an addiction to smoking must be really awful.  I have enough addictions and rarely
have the gall to admit to them, especially in public.  Her authenticity appealed
to me and although it didn’t strike me as sexy, it did strike me as honest—and I liked
that.  Which led to my consideration of today’s “emerged church.”  We love
authenticity.  But unfortunately, I feel like it’s taken on a pretty sexy twist.<br /><br />
It’s one thing to attempt belief in a wooden cross and unconditional Christ who wants
to save you.  But it’s an entirely other to walk that out.  As if it’s <i>enough</i>. 
As if <i>his exercise</i> really cuts the bill.  Without cost.  Without
adornment.  Without a sexy cigarette in hand.  I think a lot of our dogma
has moved into <i>walking while smoking</i>—because <i>at least</i> you’re out for
the walk...and, <i>at least </i>you’re smoking with authenticity.  <br /><br />
So am I saying we can’t have our walk and smoke our cigarette, too?  In some
ways, I guess, yeah.  But I think the bigger thing I’m saying is that there’s
a temptation to make, and keep, sin sexy.  To over-glorify exercise with a cigarette,
versus just exercise—to keep afloat destructive habits, as long as they’re “in accountability.” 
Again though, I’m not saying cigarettes are “bad,” or “following Christ and/or authenticity,”
is a seamless “good.”  Furthermore, I’m not meaning to minimize, or maximize,
given habits.  These are theologically fringe conversations you can take up with
God.  What I am meaning to say though, is that I think we’ve gotta be willing
to further grapple with an atoned for, yet transparently addicted culture of saints. 
Furthermore, to tread lightly in treating the arguably sexy appeal of sin.  Can
they walk together?  Should they walk together?  How do they walk together?
 <br /><br />
Because no matter how sexy smoking can seem, it still leads to death. 
<br /><br /><p></p><img width="0" height="0" src="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/aggbug.ashx?id=89d7d369-e7fb-4c8a-8dee-97eb242ac51f" /></div>
    </content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Airplane</title>
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    <published>2008-05-01T14:29:14.1377152-07:00</published>
    <updated>2008-05-01T14:29:14.1377152-07:00</updated>
    <content type="xhtml">
      <div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">Airplane<br /><br />
Airplanes are one of the more perplexing things in life to me.  They’re intimate
and communal, yet detached and individual. Unfaithful in offering a detailed view,
yet immeasurable in light of granting “the big picture.”<br /><br />
I’m flying right now.  En route home from the Orange Conference in Atlanta, which
collected thousands of leaders aiming to rethink our thoughtful (and sometimes not
so thoughtful) attempts at “Church.”  It was encouraging on many fronts, but
overwhelming on many others—revealing a naked and yet overdressed, vow-less and yet
overly complex, modern Bride. 
<br /><br />
The man behind me is speaking German and has ordered three “vodka and tonics.” 
The woman in front of me is holding a baby.  She seems sad and tired.  The
man beside me snores in intervals of three and hasn’t moved since take-off. 
The guy across the way looks about forty, with a young daughter.  Going by their
head-gear, they’re Jewish and look to have a tender relationship.  And these
are but the inside faces.  My window keeps changing its visage, from cloud, to
mountains and soon to be ocean. 
<br /><br />
Imagine all the stories on just this plane, let alone the faces of atmosphere airing
its frame.  Where do they come from?  And where are they going?  Which
can’t help but make me think about leaving this conference and wondering where we’re
all going—and if the airtime we experienced was enough to change where we’ll choose
to go?<br /><br />
I believe the distance between the Church Body is shrinking.  Mileage between
denominations and destinations seems to be lessening.  Masses are colliding and
ministries collaborating toward new (and newly old) attempts at the Commission. 
But I’m still can’t help but realize we’re gonna land in 46 minutes…and all these
people are gonna go their own way and reenter their own story.  And I have to
wonder if all of us from the conference will do the same?  If all of us in the
Church will continue doing the same?  Will we choose to keep colliding on certain
fronts, sharing airtime and elevation, but then isolate again when the rubber hits
the runway? 
<br /><br />
Not sure what I’m meaning to say here, exactly, or if there’s every anything conclusive
to say after all—heck, I’m thousands of feet in the air, so far from conclusive statements
of precision.  I guess I just want us, and me, to be aware of the Churches full
process in attempting to fly—the take-off and landing points, as much as the airtime
in-between.  That we’d be grounds in our points of departure and destination,
but risky in our willingness to head upwards.  I guess I just want our generation
of disciples to be with the Bride in all parts of Her aisle—porch and alter, as well
as airtime in between.  Flying high with lofty ideas and innovation is good,
but its most important and challenging task is “landing well.”  Integrating successfully.
 <br /><br />
The bad news is, I have no idea what this looks like.  For me.  For you. 
For us.<br /><br />
But the good news is, the pilot just announced a grace period.  Seventeen minutes
till landing. 
<br /><br /><p></p><img width="0" height="0" src="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/aggbug.ashx?id=2c6711cc-ae5d-479b-a059-54e80a58210a" /></div>
    </content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Bad Birthday</title>
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    <published>2008-04-23T14:47:42.2480000-07:00</published>
    <updated>2008-05-08T13:56:57.9170896-07:00</updated>
    <content type="xhtml">
      <div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">This is a more exposing spread of paragraphs
than my norm, so bear with me if I’ve moved into a realm too vulnerable for your tastes.
 <br /><br />
So it was my birthday a couple weeks ago.  I’ve never been a big birthday person,
but this year really wasn’t.  Birthdays weren’t grand celebrations for me growing-up
(conversation/issue for another day), which takes my view of these (birth) days to
a benchmark of sorts, but not much more.  (Although my mom does sing a pretty
awful, and thus decently hysterical, yearly rendition of “Happy Birthday” to my answering
machine.)  All mediocrage aside though, twenty-seven marked the first “bad birthday”
I’ve ever had.<br /><br />
Suffice it to say I’ve never been “the typical girl.”  And certainly never the
typical “Christian girl.”  I knew I held dreams of marriage and mothering (mothering
and marriage is probably the more suitable order).  And I knew I had expectations
and assumptions of “right passages.”  But I didn’t know to what extent. 
<br /><br />
In summary, my 27th birthday woke to a single soliloquy spanning Vogue’s entire archive. 
Again, rare to my typical form, or at least conscious and shared form (meaning I think
this has all been subconsciously around for as long as my birthday has), I hit the
girly’est, lonliest, love-craving place I can remember.  No matter how shallow
and ungodly it seemed, all I wanted was a man to tell me I was beautiful, and if he
had a ring in hand, or was named Ben and/or Jerry, we could’ve just gone straight
to the vows.   <br /><br />
These feelings were shocking and depressing enough, but they weren’t even the most
pervasive.  I told you this was vulnerable.  The feelings I felt most strongly
that sunny 27th morning were sadness and guilt.  Sigmund Freud says depression
is repressed anger.   I would agree.  My sadness felt very, very sad,
but more honestly, it felt very, very angry. Angry at myself.  Angry at my circumstances—or
lack there of.  And angry at my anger.  Furthermore, I felt guilty, apologizing
to God for being where I was/am that day/today.  “I’m sorry I’m not married. 
I’m sorry I don’t have children. I’m sorry I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. 
I’m sorry God…so sorry…”  As phrases hit the page, and further inwardness came
out, it felt like I was listening to someone else, and yet something of the lands
felt recognizably <i>real</i>, too.<br /><br />
One of the things I appreciate about blogging is that you can click “post” without
necessarily finishing a thought process.  And that’s what I’m about to do. 
Life is hard.  Believing God has you where you are, on purpose, is hard. 
And feels really bad at times.  If the Bible is true though, and the Cross really
happened, Something is unfolding that wants you and me to be exactly where we are
today.  Even if that means having a bad birthday.  <br /><br /><p></p><img width="0" height="0" src="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/aggbug.ashx?id=0973772f-04a6-429d-a779-647de01462b6" /></div>
    </content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>What</title>
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    <published>2008-04-16T06:06:16.0970000-07:00</published>
    <updated>2008-04-22T17:59:06.4180625-07:00</updated>
    <content type="xhtml">
      <div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">makes it easier to believe God can handle
the whole world in His hands today, but struggles to handle just mine?<br /><p></p><img width="0" height="0" src="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/aggbug.ashx?id=ad104086-c7cd-4a63-a9fa-b651587faf8d" /></div>
    </content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Allah</title>
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    <published>2008-04-09T17:16:29.1430000-07:00</published>
    <updated>2008-04-09T21:08:07.3833989-07:00</updated>
    <content type="xhtml">
      <div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">I was asked in a radio interview last week
the biggest challenge confronting college campuses today.  I said “isms,” with
pluralism and relativism topping the list.  Imagine if your campus was restructured
such that all faiths were combined under the same umbrella (I can’t not mention that
“ella, ella, ella” is running through my head right now).  Imagine that your
“staff position” was mixed with that of the Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist and Athiest staffers,
too?  <i>"You’re all aiming for the same thing right?!  Trying to help students
explore their “god-concepts”?</i> Ummmm, sort, but no, not really…  The LA Times
ran an article Sunday that doesn’t fall too far off this paradigm shift. http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-op-alameddine6apr06,0,2743519.story<br /><br />
It’s eerie how much this article took me back lawn conversations and lectures during
my undergrad days at Emory.  In short, the writer takes about 80% of the article
to build a point regarding “Allah” as synonymous with “God,” and thus rightfully needing
to be used as such in the English vocabulary.  The point is padded by remarking
that so many religious faces are acceptingly worn by “God,” and yet Allah remains
separate—dangerously separate.<br /><br />
I’ll agree to the extent that openness to the term and context of “Allah” would do
our linguistic and existential vocabularies well.  But on almost every other
front, I have to disagree.  Compartmentalizing all gods into one “God” ends up
minimizing all the gods.  Every “god” of every religion is unique and uniquely
named into its given culture, history, cult and/or custom.  And although most
may assume similar characteristics, they mean different things, to the degree that
that have been differentiated at some point in history in order to designate a given
faith, or spirituality.<br /><br />
Presuming that “all gods are the same” and should be titled under the same heading
(“God”) feels to me like saying “all people are the same,” so let’s ditch specific
“names” and just refer to each other as “people.”  Furthermore, consider my current
writing environment: a family of bluebirds is singing into my window, and the Berlin
Philharmonic is wafting spectacular notes from my living room below.  But what
if I were to say, “There are animals making noise outside my window and sounds coming
from downstairs.”  Oh how this minimizes the grandiosity of precise sound enriching
my ears!<br /><br />
Finally, and I feel like I’m just getting started, but the writer of the article ended
with: “One nation under Allah?,” as if to say this is where our country needs to head. 
What a scary thought, I think—not because Allah is scary, but because trying to “refound”
the history of a given country, let alone faith, is manipulative, dangerous and dishonest. 
America wasn’t founded as a nation under Allah, or else old Christopher would’ve said
so.  Furthermore, Islam wasn’t founded under “God,” or else I’m quite sure their
Christopher would’ve said so, too, <i>for Allah’s sake.</i><br /><br /><p></p><img width="0" height="0" src="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/aggbug.ashx?id=dc4e4426-5b42-4ee6-a2e6-d92de54b9cb5" /></div>
    </content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Simon</title>
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    <published>2008-04-01T17:05:12.3990000-07:00</published>
    <updated>2008-04-03T17:59:29.7347586-07:00</updated>
    <content type="xhtml">
      <div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">I wonder what it felt like?<br />
I wonder what he felt like?<br /><br />
And why him in the first place?  It’s not like there weren't other people on
the road, or like he didn’t have anything to do that day.<br /><br />
What about the minutes wherein they chose him?  Did they yell at him, or beat
him - did he fight back?  How much force did agreement take?  What was Jesus
doing during this time?<br /><br />
What did agreeing feel like?  Did he know the cause at hand?  Or its effect? 
Did he even know who Jesus was?<br /><br />
How long was the walk?  Did he ever hear <i>the whole story</i>?  Did he
need to hear <i>the whole story</i>?  <br /><br />
What does it mean that Sovereignty <i>allows </i>crosses?<i><br /></i>Allows<i></i>us<i></i>to <i>carry</i> crosses?<br /><i>Chooses</i> us to carry crosses?<br />
And sometimes <i>forces</i> us to?<br /><br /><div align="center"><i>As they were going out, they met a man from Cyrene, named Simon,
and they forced him to carry the cross.  </i>Matthew 27:32<br /><br /></div><br /><p></p><img width="0" height="0" src="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/aggbug.ashx?id=d1411bb9-a432-4ec6-9b37-e588bba12275" /></div>
    </content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Racing Gravity</title>
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    <published>2008-03-28T18:42:55.0062904-07:00</published>
    <updated>2008-03-28T18:42:55.0062904-07:00</updated>
    <content type="xhtml">
      <div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">Heard an interview with Drew Barrymore lately,
where she said, “I don’t want to sit around and hope good things will happen. 
I want to make them happen…I want to be in control of my own destiny.”  And on
a different, but I-promise-to-tie-together-in-a-second-note, I was strolling by the
ocean last week and distracted by the accelerating legs of a small bird.  He
made me smile, with sand-cast feet running full-speed away from the approaching waters. 
Each wave, clearly more wise and experienced than this little creature, showed uncanny
amusement almost, as it let the bird race gravity.  Out of breath and in what
seemed his fated end, the determined creature contributed one final stride. 
And then, as if destiny were never in question, his wings took rise as his body glided
off the sand into the warm, spring air.        <br /><br />
I was impressed by this exhausted run, but more exhausted by the bird’s forgotten
ability to fly.  Because in a remarkably similar way, I forget this same thing. 
If what God says is true, and I really have every spiritual blessing in the heavenly
realms (Ephesians 1:3), I have the power to fly—but typically choose to walk chained.
 <br /><br />
Any given day finds me running as fast and as far as my legs will take me, which on
good days is pretty far.  But the sad truth is, I’ve still settled for the pace
of running, when I have the option of graced flying.  I’ve substituted the cheap
lie that lets me function, for the unfathomable Life that lets me fly.  <br /><br />
We all want to make good things happen.  Great things, even.  But we can
only cover so much ground, before the waves take us over—control so much distance,
before destiny takes us under.  I’m wondering what would it look like today to
be delivered from our own feat, and positioned into God’s?<br /><br /><p></p><img width="0" height="0" src="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/aggbug.ashx?id=4289b7b1-34c4-417c-8f30-d2d9b1317f09" /></div>
    </content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Stay Weak</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/2008/03/19/StayWeak.aspx" />
    <id>http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/PermaLink,guid,2a9f1ced-59db-41eb-83e2-5046bbecea68.aspx</id>
    <published>2008-03-19T08:55:09.8825991-07:00</published>
    <updated>2008-03-19T08:55:09.8825991-07:00</updated>
    <content type="xhtml">
      <div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">Weakness—I think that’s what I need. 
I think that’s what I want to ask God for today. 
<br /><br />
Outlandish?  Completely. Counterintuitive to me, culture and a lot of “the church”? 
Utterly.  <br /><br />
But the truth of it is, I need to be weak.  God’s Word, and God, himself, I am
realizing this Easter week, is flooded with personifications of weakness.  Endured
weakness, failed weakness, transformed weakness, transforming weakness, and ultimately,
I guess, resurrected weakness.  And maybe this is a stretch, but as of today,
I feel like <i>something of the crux of Christianity lies a willing surrender to weakness</i>.
 <br /><br />
Heard a thought recently that I can’t let go of.  “People will admire you for
being strong, but love you for being weak.”  I have tried for most of my life
to be strong.  I covet admiration and crave affirmation.  I long for people
to see me as unfailing—to know my faith as unshaking.  Bottom line, I do whatever
I can to avoid weakness.<br /><br />
Strength saturates our culture.  It’s sexy, stable and stands on its own. 
Unfortunately though, it’s also a never-ending facade.  Yes, strength is always
willing to lead us somewhere, but it’s always a Somewhere Road to nowhere.  So
what I’m learning is weakness is actually my source of going where God wants me to
go, which may mean “going,” but may also mean staying, being, or waiting, i.e. taboos
in our culture, and in our post-fall complexion.  <br /><br />
As a Christian, my greatest understanding of Christ rises in my greatest understood
weakness without him.  Thus, my strength after God MUST be prefaced by weakness
in me.  Willingness to surrender—willingness to admit imperfection—this then,
is my to way to strength.  My way to love.  The way to God.  <br /><br />
When I am weak, then I have reason to be <i>with God</i>.  <i>When I am weak,
then I am strong</i> (2 Corinthians 12:10).<br /><br /><p></p><img width="0" height="0" src="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/aggbug.ashx?id=2a9f1ced-59db-41eb-83e2-5046bbecea68" /></div>
    </content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Friend's New Website</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/2008/03/16/FriendsNewWebsite.aspx" />
    <id>http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/PermaLink,guid,13ef3ed9-ee71-4544-bf19-4cf46803caa3.aspx</id>
    <published>2008-03-15T19:14:04.7760291-07:00</published>
    <updated>2008-03-15T19:14:04.7760291-07:00</updated>
    <content type="xhtml">
      <div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">http://www.africaourownhome.org<br /><br />
You may remember my friend Holly from Uganda.  Just as I was leaving in late
August, she was beginning her orphange.  Holly is an incredible inspiration as
a young, passionate lover of Jesus, so I figured you might enjoy tracking with her
story.<br /><br />
Hoping you're well.<br /><p></p><img width="0" height="0" src="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/aggbug.ashx?id=13ef3ed9-ee71-4544-bf19-4cf46803caa3" /></div>
    </content>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Why Pray?</title>
    <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/2008/03/14/WhyPray.aspx" />
    <id>http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/PermaLink,guid,eeced167-8d18-4454-a3a3-b291a84043c3.aspx</id>
    <published>2008-03-14T08:33:16.8160509-07:00</published>
    <updated>2008-03-14T08:33:16.8160509-07:00</updated>
    <content type="xhtml">
      <div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">If I’m honest, I’d much rather ask you,
than God.  I’d much rather hear your answer, than “hope” to hear one from Him. 
Why is this?  Do I really think you know more than Him, or better than Him? 
No.  But do I really think God knows more than me, let alone what’s better for
me?  Apparently not, which leads me to my next question.<br /><br />
Are our prayers really being heard?  Because if I’m really human, which I am,
and if God’s really inhuman, which He is, is our “connect” really possible? 
Is His hearing really plausible?  No, It’s really not.  So my only fair,
or quasi logical, conclusion then, is that prayer isn’t possible without some mediary
source.  Or force, rather (see Luke 2:5). Prayer isn’t normal or natural. 
It leans more toward ridiculously abnormal and unnatural, in fact.  But I guess
if God were really my God, wouldn’t I want Him that way!? 
<br /><br />
Believing the Lord as sovereign assumes believing the Lord has a plan.  So that,
whether you pray for him, or I invest in her, God’s will will prevail.  His story
will unfold.  Essentially, your prayers don’t determine outcomes.  Does
that mean they don’t matter?  No.  But does that mean peripheral theologies
of why you should, or shouldn’t pray have gotten off line.  Yes.  Too often,
I think, we lose sight of our ‘role’ in praying.  Our role in God’s eternal story. 
What we’re offered in prayer and optioned through Jesus Christ, is the capacity to
ask unnatural things for the sake of supernatural intervention.  Impossible dreams
of man, by way of possible faith in God.  When you ask something outlandish and
see it come about, who gets the credit?  Who, but God, finds you amazed?<br /><br />
So I guess the question I’m left asking is, if we really believed our lives script
scenes of eternity, and really believed God as jealous for our voices, why the heck
wouldn’t we get-in on it!?  Why the heck would I prioritize asking your opinion,
over His?<br /><br /><div align="center"><i>“Ask and it will be given to you</i>.”—Jesus 
<br /></div><br /><p></p><img width="0" height="0" src="http://blog.keepingyourfaith.com/aggbug.ashx?id=eeced167-8d18-4454-a3a3-b291a84043c3" /></div>
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