Being here this week has reminded me of last summer, when I met Gwyneth Paltrow, Chris Martin and their little girl, Apple. Okay, so I didn’t meet them exactly, but shared a table with them. Well, not exactly “their” table, but the one across from them. And I really did make eye contact with all three icons. It was at the Whole Foods on Ponce in downtown Atlanta. I was enjoying an average afternoon and in walks this threesome, as if it’s their average afternoon, too. No bodyguards, camouflage, or US Magazine reps camping-out the corner. Awe had paralyzed my brain and I couldn’t figure out if I should rush them for an autograph, call my sister, or accidentally spill my drink and slip near their table, requiring a sympathy of attachment and need to rush me to the hospital, see me through to recovery, and then write Coldplay’s next hit, “Slipping Isn’t as Bad as it Seems.” Instead, I just stared at them eat. They left after awhile, again with no hype, and I carried on with my average afternoon—after calling my sister.

As surreal as this dining experience was, it wasn’t life altering. I thought seeing faces that fronted a myriad of magazines, movies and media would forever change me. But it hasn’t. I’ve gone on in my life and I’m guessing they’ve gone on with theirs (I don’t know though, eye contact can be pretty pivotal). And the same goes for Jesus. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I could see, dine and even disguise a song-writable-saga for him, and it still wouldn’t convince my following from here on out. Seeing God isn’t the same as knowing Him. And it’s not just that it’s not “the same,” but it’s not enough. It’s not satisfying enough to last, or captivating enough to hold my attention.

Every decade or so, a 9/11, or natural disaster happens, or every few years a family death, or tragic news story reminds us there must be more swinging the pendulum than just us. But then the service finishes, or the shock wears off, and we’re back to the dementia-zoned grind. We’re back to our ‘selves.’ I’ve seen this again and again this Summer, witnessing touchable handprints of God, where I was forced to be in situations I was terrified to stay, petrified to go, or too pained to move…and God pulled me through. But sure enough, I woke the next morning, and again this morning, to a resistant heart that would rather do life her way, by her rules, and given her will, rather than His. I can never see enough of God to convince me of His greatness. I can never experience enough of His miracles, measure, or immeasurability, that I’ll trust Him for the long haul. Until God returns and redemption is fully at bay, my “me-ness” will always pierce the intimacy between how it ‘is’ and how it ‘should be.’

I’ve been reading through Exodus lately, an Old Testament book recounting Moses’ lead of the Israelites into Egypt. The accounts are endless where people are upset with God and want Him to work a miracle, so He does and they’re all happy-go-lucky. But in a matter of days, or weeks, another problem arises and they’re again found cursing the very name that got them there. A similar and maybe more striking example involves Jesus’ closest friends. They walked, talked, traveled, sang, fasted and feasted with him for three years. They watched him turn water into wine. And yet when the day came that their supposed Messiah died and the story seemed to take an unexpected turn, they denied knowing him and went fishing. Seeing Jesus day-in and day-out wasn’t enough. We need more.

A pretty shocking statement is made that, “In the end, many will say, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophecy, drive out demons and do many miracles in Your name?” And Jesus replies, “Yes, but it won’t be of matter, because you didn’t ‘know’ Me.” Maybe a fair modern translation would say, “God, I went to church, was really moral and was definitely good more than I was bad.” And Jesus would say to us, “That’s great, but were we friends? Did we have a relationship, where you knew Me when we saw each other and trusted Me when we didn’t? Where you would follow when life made sense and blindly believe you could do so when it didn’t? Did you know me?”