Tonight I want to distract. Diconnect. Tonight I’m lonely. Normally this might be specified in loneliness and longing for a husband, or partner in life, but tonight it’s less specific, I miss my friends. I’m missing people who know me, and I know them. Missing easy internet access, missing electricity, just missing whatever…I’m in a bratty mood. At home I could distract with about twenty things at this point. Instantly. I could call a friend. Go online. Go surfing. Get a massage. See a movie. Go to the beach, Barnes and Noble, my bed, or a restaurant. Watch Grey’s Anatomy. Call my family. Go hiking. Paint. Go to Starbucks, the gym, a play, concert, or the library. I could go to yoga, get a pedicure, sit by the fire, or microwave my dinner. Here I can’t do any of these. One of my prayers coming into the summer was space to serve quietly and experience much aloneness with the Lord. Saying you want to be alone with God for the summer seems like a big statement though. I think either a) It takes a ton of time and discipline to build endurance for, or b) You really don’t mean it…you’ve just been scarred and are likely tired from relationships, and God is doing a slow, but healing work, redefining your understandings of solitude, community and communion with Him. I think I’m a little of both. And I’m increasingly aware that both are really challenging.