(continued from last entry) ...ings happen regardless, but aren’t necessarily felt. We do a range of things, and practice a reaching number of addictions, obsessions and habits that keep us from knowing what we’re really feeling. The scary thing is that a lot and maybe most the time, (the Church definitely included), these means are promoted as good. Anyway, I’m sure future entries will dig into this more, but for now at least, hear me say that I’m honored to learn from these infants what it means to be honest with myself and not fear or falsify the ongoing stream of emotion bubbling inside me.

Okay, that was a big tangent. Anyway, tasks around the house are what you’d guess for this age and number of kids, but there are quite a few TIA (“this is Africa”) or uniquely Ugandan ones that will share as time unfolds. Diapers are washed and lined by hand, so that’ll comprise a good bit of the day, especially given that most the preemies are sick and constantly battling diarreah and throwing-up. Feeding, holding, cleaning, walking, bathing and massaging are the other main tasks. There’s a clinic on-site, too, which doesn’t have a baby in its incubator right now, but probably will within the next couple weeks. The thought of helping in there is both exciting and scary to me—I love health and medicine, but the fragility of these infants is beyond compare.

A New Day.

I don’t understand the full scope of how big this day is, but parents who’ve been waiting to adopt from Amani for years, literally, were cleared by the judge today. For various reasons, their cases have been put off five and ten times (many of which the parents flew over to be present and then had to return home empty handed). For whatever reason though, God chose that today the case would happen and today the judge would concede. Amani is full right now, with sixty kids at the Cottage. This date sets at least twenty of them free—free to gain access to life and love in homes, verses an orphange and longetivity, versus a makeshift home of security to a certain age. Again, the weight of this day isn’t nearly as emotional as it is for the other volunteers and staff, but I rejoice with them and rejoice with the Lord at this new day—for many parents, for many infants at Amani, and for many abandoned kids, who can now find space to be welcomed into the Cottage.

Random:
*As an image centered being—and woman, at that, it’s been refreshing to not collide with a mirror for a few days. Amazing what that’ll do to decrease obsessions with self, body and image—and likewise, what it does to redefine framings of beauty, again, even in just a short number of days.
*Showers try to stay to a maximum of every few days. And they’re usually cold. And the water is usually not too much heavier than a drip. The first time caught me pretty-off guard, wondering if two months of this was what I really wanted…everything since has felt oddly comfortable. Amazing how quickly you can acclimate to a lifestyle—and even feel at home with a lifestyle in a matter of days. For me, at least, a life of simplicity, quiet and serving finds me most alive to live and most spaced to love and be loved. Remind me this whenever you'd like :).
*My stomach is in knots this afternoon. Could've been the water, or could've been the fried fish eyes in my stew at lunch. Nice.
*Shorts are a no-go, no matter how hot it gets (low 100’s seems to be the norm). I guess this means shaving will be too.